Some of you might have noticed that today should have been my “Exam from Hell”… But due to an unfortunate Act of God or some other higher hurricane creating power I now have even more time to suffer and study for this exam. I was in a panic on Monday because I kept calling the testing facility with this sinking feeling that it might not be open due to the wide spread power outages and flooding in the area. Well, I was right and called Pearsons to reschedule since I hadn’t gotten the cancellation email just yet… that was Monday. I got the email late Tuesday night saying the testing site was closed. UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE!! Seriously? I wanted to burn this test book already. With the winter temperatures since the Nor’Bastard snow storm I don’t know if we can afford to heat the house like this until March… It’s been stressful, distracting, putting me in a terrible mood at home. I don’t like myself like this and I can imagine my family doesn’t either. 20 more days… 20 more days… I’m sure many of you have been there before, stressed about an upcoming event that could bring alot of potential and open doors to you both professionally and personally. I think I tried every procrastination technique available, shopping, eating, race planning… cleaning, sleeping… ect. A good friend of mine and colleague put things into perspective by asking me what the worst possible outcome was and what was I afraid of?
The worst thing that could happen is that I fail the exam and I have to retake it. I’m afraid people might think less of me if I don’t pass this exam.
Yeah, pretty much.
And then I gave this whole exam some more thought, like what/who people will think less of me? Why should their opinion matter? Any job I might apply to in the future isn’t going to ask how many times I took the exam anyway, they don’t even ask for my school transcripts now… It’s more like, “You have a degree and student loan debt? Me too, great, you got the job!” So while I’m studying and refreshing material from my graduate school days that I never even use/apply in my job, I’m thinking of this as a stepping stone. There’s no backup plan here, I’m not checking the schedule to see when I could “retake” this exam when I fail because I am going to make that simply NOT AN OPTION.
So just like I would train for a race, I’m going to have to buckle down the next twenty days and give it my all. Really squeeze out the discipline. Uhh which I know I can be terrible at, but the payoff will be so much greater. I won’t pass the exam if I don’t put the time in, just like I won’t finish a race unless I put the miles in. Only way to “git er done.”
Although, today’s act of procrastination might leave you wondering how I finished graduate school in the first place…
Isn’t he cute? Instead of buying a turkey hat for my 5k soon to be PR race, I’m going to make one to attach to one of my winter beanie hats. What??!!? I assure you this project will take no time at all from my studying… I think. So stay tuned for more updates on my PR gobble hat!!